Long have i debated with myself on whether to start a blog to voice my reflections on kendo, of course i could've done it as well on a piece of paper but my handwriting is horrible to look at even for me. *sigh*
But here i am, finally made up my mind that musing with myself the various things i have learnt for so long isn't going to work. There is just so many things to think and reflect on, so many ideals and philosophies to decipher. Why not just write it down somewhere, so that one day i might visit upon it again and see, how far up the mountain have i climbed, did i slip somewhere? where is the route where i can contiune my journey...
It is late, i won't be writing much today... but i will leave myself one eassy i was told to write, an eassy that is to reflect what kendo was to me. And note the past tense "was".
What is kendo to me
What is kendo to me, a simple question yet one that would provoke much thoughts. To ask this question now, I would not be able to answer it to the full capacity. As kendo is a life’s journey and perception and experiences will change over time. But for now, I will use my limited experiences and knowledge to devise an answer to the question. And perhaps, at the end of the essay, I might be able to learn more about what kendo is to me.
First, I would want to briefly explain what I think kendo is. At first sight, kendo might be two person, shouting, stamping and swinging bamboo sticks. But there is much more to it. Every intricate movement is a battle between two minds, and to gain an advantage isn’t as easy as hitting someone. We all know this as we are told time and again to kiai. So what is kiai?
In my brief term in this art, I have been introduced to kiai as ‘spirit’. To kiai isn’t to shout. I remember what one senior told to me once. He said, “When you kiai, you are showing your determination. When you give a soft kiai, you are showing small determination.” This strikes me true. When one is in trouble, one shouts for extra strength or courage or what not. This shows the application of ‘shouting’ in real life. And in kendo, when the seniors kiai’ed at me, I find that they are beating down on my own spirit and demoralizing me.
One would say, “kendo is just hitting someone with a stick”. But is kendo merely hitting? I realized that kendo has taught me to cut with the shinai. To hit is just to hit, it doesn’t matter if you missed neither does it measure the amount of commitment one must place in the action. But when intends to cut, they must cut with determination, they do it with a goal. In that I find most difficult to do and it tells me that I need to place a goal in me and commit myself to it and not just merely want to ‘hit’.
“In kendo, a cut is never half done.” This is another quote from a senior. This teaches completeness in whatever we do, that nothing is done halfway. In a way, it teaches commitment too. One will complete whatever he is doing when one is totally and wholly committed to it.
I remember that during almost every practice, someone would stand by and tell us to “bring in the left leg”. A simple move yet one of great importance. In kendo we are taught to strike with the hips not the body so that we will not bend our back. If we were to miss, it would put us into a compromising position and that our reaction will be bad. To bring in the left leg, we would be able to react quickly in any circumstances.
I learnt that when all these are done in one fluid move, it would be called “ki-ken-tai-ichi.” I guess it would be right to say that this would be the one of the most important determinant factor for scoring. In a sense, kendo promotes ‘one-ness” and cohesion with spirit, sword and body.
So, to sum up those things, after all is said and done, what is left is zanshin. We were told to find out for ourselves what is zanshin and what I found was “remaining spirit” and “readiness after an attack.” I think that this is a very useful feature of kendo. That it emphasizes on readiness and commitment and that one spirit should be consistent before and after a cut is made. Without either of these, I guess there would be no zanshin.
This is what I have surmised about the practical side of kendo. Now, I want to share about the other, but probably the main reason I joined kendo.
Being originated from Japan where loyalty, respect and most importantly honor is highly regarded in its social caste, it is no surprise that some of it has rubbed on to the arts that are practiced there. In all japanense arts, it can be observed that respect for seniors, sensei and for the dojo are very important and are paramount to the true understanding of the particular art.
But why kendo?
In a sense, my choice was influenced by the samurai of old. From what I know about them, they have a very strong sense of honor and no doubt, the way of the sword has an appeal to me as I am a very avid reader of fantasy novels.
I find that the most overlooked but most intriguing thing is the hakama that we wear. We are always told time and again that we must fold it carefully so that we will not loose the pleats. Intrigued, I went to do a search about it and the findings only increased the appeal kendo has on me. There are many interpretations but this is the one that I found most interesting. Chuu, Ko, Jin, Gi, Rei. Meaning Loyatly, Justice, Humanity/Compassion, Honor and respect respectively.
It makes no wonder that the pleats are that important! Loyalty and honor, those two things that was rubbed off from the books I read. With a straight code of honor, it is no wonder I am in constant awe of the Samurai. Of course it wont do being a fanatic but it is still something to work towards on.
In most Japanese sports, ranks are denoted by kyu/dan. Most of the sports shows the rank in physical form (Judo belt etc). Kendo carries the rank in a non physical form. Standing side by side a, say, godan. One will not know the difference between me and him.
Or would they?
I say, due to their longer understanding of the art, I felt that whenever a person of higher rank stands next to me, they have a stronger personality and are therefore more regal. But the real contrast would be when they fight. During east-west tournament, I had a chance to see senseis in action and I realize that their kendo where very inspiring. Their cuts were straight with everything they taught, namely ki ken tai ichi, big cuts and kiai.
In my brief orientation of ji-keiko, I realized one thing. Lack of commitment. It is strange that during practice, a cut which could be normally done just feels so different in keiko. Whenever the seniors kiai, I felt their personality blast into my face, attempting to buckle whatever commitment I had managed to gather. With so many things running in my head then, I cant strike without confidence and commitment.
I guess during shiai, it would be the same. Shiai I think, is the part in kendo where you really pit your kendo against another person. It could but not necessary judge your progress in kendo. But time and again, I hear people say that too much emphasis in shiai will prevent oneself from achieving good kendo. As during shiai, small cuts are used lots of time. But I guess competitiveness is one way of progressing and making things interesting.
But in everything that kendo is to me, there is one that is much more important, and not really expected of when I first joined kendo.
To me kendo is a family. We may have our own cliques and buddies but in general we are one. The seniors used to say “We are a club and we should help one another grow as a club”. It never ring as true as when practiced.
When I am tired, it is only by looking at the people training together with determination do I draw the strength to continue on. Jest and companionship serves to add spice to kendo and not make it such a dry sport. Without this aspect, kendo to me, would be as dry as a twig left in a sun too long.
So, in closing. Kendo to me is more than just a sport or art. It has taught me things that I would not have learnt normally in my course of life. I hope to continue this journey throughout my life and not let pitfalls prevent me from improving myself. There is yet much to learn and even when all is said and done, I hope I could further improve myself in every aspect and mayhap, one day I would find myself being a better person prior to the introduction of kendo in my life.
To put it in a more sophisticated way, I would metaphor it as two streams with two different kind of fish. Each stream with different fishes that would eat the destructive fungi of the other stream. Kendo is one, my normal course of life is one. When both stream merge together, I hope that the river will be cleared those fungi and thus, be cleaner.
All this I say at this moment of my life, but who is to say things might change when I gain a more mature understanding of myself? So I say, that what kendo is to me now, doesn’t apply for the future.
It has been a year and a half since i first joined kendo, a year or so since i wrote this. With a brief glance i already knew that my personal insight and knowledge of this art has gone far beyond what i had then, but glancing again, i realised that there are certain aspects i may have forgotten... I must read and think about those again, maybe tommorrow...
It is much irony that though i have matured in kendo, i will always remember what David Sensei said to me months ago, that my kendo is still immature, which is true. And on the same day, i asked Sabato Sensei about seme, and his explaination coincide with what David Sensei said!
Of course this part is here to set a topic for next time, least i forget, or run out of things to say.
And thus i conclude the first post of my reflection, or rather half reflection, since it is never complete :)
